Interview with Syakirah: Don’t go through it alone

About the Interviewee: Syakirah is I'm 37 and lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Syakirah works in marketing, and also teaches aerial yoga on the weekends. Syakirah and her husband have been married for 3 years, and their family includes two cats (Poe and Jinsky).

Tell us about when you first started trying to get pregnant, what did that feel like?

To be honest, we weren't seriously trying when we first got married because we thought it would naturally happen. But after two years of trying (or not trying to avoid pregnancy), I realized that it should have happened already and knew something was wrong. So that's when we went to see a fertility doctor - after not getting pregnant after 2 years

Tell us about your first fertility doctor experience.

I met a gynae [gynecological doctor] during our first year of marriage and he said there was a cyst that I should keep my eye on. I brushed it off because I thought it wasn't serious. The same cyst grew and when I finally went to a fertility doctor, the fertility doctor was the one who discovered it. He said that it's highly likely that the cyst is the cause of why we weren't getting pregnant.

I've also always had bad period cramps and I thought it was normal. Turns out, it was the cyst causing it! My cyst was called the “chocolate cyst” because when they cut into it, the blood (I think it's blood) oozing out looked like chocolate! And, yes, my doctor made me watch highlights from my surgery. I could only stomach five minutes of it and then I made him switch it off.

That must have been horrifying! I can also relate to the lifetime of menstrual pain without diagnosis. How do you manage the pain?

The hot water bottle and Young Living essential oil are my go-to when I'm in pain

You are currently going through IVF, in what ways has this been complicated by the endometriosis?

Well, because I removed the cyst, it has not hindered my IVF cycle at all, thank god!

That is a relief to hear! You also began with IUI before moving to IVF. Can you tell us a little about why you started with IUI first?

I was hoping so much that we did not have to do IVF because of the cost. And my best friend who was also trying to get pregnancy at the same time I was, she got pregnant on her first try with IUI. So gullible me, I thought it would be the same for me.

Do you feel more optimistic now about the IVF being successful?

To be honest, I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm scared too. What if it doesn't work? What if my eggs are crap!? What if I spent all this money for nothing?

I am certain that a lot of us can relate to those fears! A lot of people have their own “process” for the stims injections. Do you have a ritual that you follow for the injection times?

My husband and I have the process down but we don't have a ritual. It's usually just mixing one vial at a time, and try to take my time and not rush. I save all the vials and syringes so that hopefully one day, when I make a pregnancy announcement, I can have it in one picture. [This is] to remind myself how much I've been through just to get to a pregnancy announcement.

IVF is also incredibly stressful. How do you manage the stress?

By going on walks and hikes. I know it’s cliche to say, but being outside in the sun is really good for the soul. Building Lego sets also keeps my stress at bay! And yoga is my go to as well.

I love legos! Who are the people that have been the greatest supporters to you throughout this journey?

My husband has been amazing and so patient with me. And my warrior friends on Instagram have been my rock! I'm still so amazed that I have never met these ladies in real life but they are now such an important part of my life. And my best friends in real life.

Yes! Cheers to our instagram community! Final question - if you could share one thing with other people going through similar experiences, what would it be?

Don’t do it alone. Reach out for help whenever you feel lost and not when it’s too late. Find your “TTC” tribe. Every person’s journey is different, so don’t compare it to yours with someone else. It will only bring you down.