Taking my own path to motherhood
Author Bio: Kirsty is a 27-year-old living in the South East of the UK. She was diagnosed with PCOS roughly 10 years ago, and again more recently in 2023.
Here is her story:
Everyone’s journey in life is different. This is something we all accept and understand. It’s a beautiful thing, everyone on their own path to different destinations - it can be exciting to look at another person’s journey and see all the beautiful differences it has to your own!
The journey to becoming a mother, however, is a tough one. It feels unfair that this journey isn’t the same, not as easy, for everyone. That it isn’t as simple as: baby-dance at the right time, fall pregnant, give birth. For many people and for many reasons, a person cannot simply become a mother, and this is a hard pill to swallow.
I was first diagnosed with PCOS over 10 years ago. My diagnosis was based on having high androgens, irregular periods, excess body hair and acne. 15 year old me did not care what the doctor had to say about how this might affect my fertility in the future; I just wanted to get my periods back and get rid of my acne and chin hair! Around this time, I also had an ultrasound which came back clear, and the doctors were unsure of my diagnosis. Nevertheless, like numerous others with PCOS, I was told contraception was the ‘magic pill’, so I went on it and never looked back.
Fast forward a few years - myself and my partner spoke about starting a family for a long time. I’d always wanted to be a mother since I was very young, but we moved around a lot and the time never felt quite right. We’d just bought our first home and were settled in our careers - it seemed like there was no better time to start. I came off my contraception and for the first few months, I felt great! My periods were regular and were much lighter than they had been when I was on the contraception. I was ovulating every month, confirmed by ovulation tests and BBT, and I was losing weight - surely I would get pregnant really quickly, right?
Totally wrong! After a few months, I stopped ovulating and my periods disappeared. Despite having some blood tests which came back perfect a few months prior, I felt like something was off. I booked myself in for an ultrasound, only to find both of my ovaries were covered in cysts! After another round of bloods which showed high testosterone and imbalanced LH, I was diagnosed with PCOS, again. This time, it was official, and when the doctor told me about the risk to my fertility, it hit me hard. I was referred straight away to the fertility clinic, and was being told I needed to lose weight to be considered for IVF. I’d gone from thinking I would be pregnant in a matter of months to wondering if I would even be pregnant in the next few years. My entire life timeline had been shifted right before my eyes.
This takes me to today, still longing to be a mother, still trying to become a mother on the off chance it might happen. PCOS affects so many aspects of fertility. If you are lucky enough to ovulate, hormonal imbalances associated with the condition can diminish the quality of your eggs, affect your uterine lining, and even cause early pregnancy loss.
My journey to motherhood is not the same as someone without PCOS. It’s also not the same as every person with infertility. We are all on our own unique journeys and even though the journey is rough most of the time, there are moments when you can look back to see how far you’ve come and the progress you have made, no matter how small. Each step forward is a step in the right direction. I’m not sure which path will lead me to my destination yet, but I have hope that I will get there someway, somehow.
I am sharing my story, experiences, and advice over on Instagram @_thepcosdiaries_ in the hopes of helping others who are navigating this journey.
